How do you handle yourself when stressed?

We all know what it’s like to feel stressed, but it’s not easy to pin down exactly what stress means. When we say things like “this is stressful” or “I’m stressed”, we might be talking about:

 Situations or events that put pressure on us – for example, times where we have lots to do and think about, or don’t have much control over what

  • Our reaction to being placed under pressure – the feelings we get when we have demands placed on us that we find difficult to cope

 There’s no medical definition of stress, and health care professionals often disagree over whether stress is the cause of problems or the result of them. This can make it difficult for you to work out what causes your feelings of stress, or how to deal with them. But whatever your personal definition of stress is, it’s likely that you can learn to manage   your stress better by:

  • managing external pressures, so stressful situations don’t seem to happen to you quite so often
  • developing your emotional resilience, so you’re better at coping with tough situations when they do happen and don’t feel quite so stressed

 Is stress a mental health problem?

Being under pressure is a normal part of life. It can help you take action, feel more energised and get results. But if you often become overwhelmed by stress, these feelings could start to be a problem for you.

 Stress isn’t a psychiatric diagnosis, but it’s closely linked to your mental health in two important ways:

 Stress can cause mental health problems and make existing problems For example, if you often struggle to manage feelings of stress, you might develop a mental health problem like anxiety or depression.

  • Mental health problems can cause You might find coping with the day-to- day symptoms of your mental health problem, as well as potentially needing to manage medication, heath care appointments or treatments, can become extra sources of stress.

 This can start to feel like a vicious circle, and it might be hard to see where stress ends and your mental health problem begins.

 Why does stress affect me physically?

You might find that your first clues about being stressed are physical signs, such as tiredness, headaches or an upset stomach.

 There could be many reasons for this, as when we feel stressed, we often find it hard to sleep or eat well, and poor diet and lack of sleep can both affect our physical health. This, in turn, can make us feel more stressed emotionally.

 Also, when we feel anxious, our bodies release hormones called cortisol and adrenaline. (This is the body’s automatic way of preparing to respond to a threat,  sometimes called  the ‘fight, flight or freeze’ response).  If you’re often stressed then you’re probably producing high levels of these hormones, which can make you feel physically unwell and could affect your health in the longer term.

 What are the signs of stress?

We all experience stress differently in different situations. Sometimes you might be able to tell right away when you’re feeling under stress, but other times you might keep going without recognising the signs. Stress can affect you both emotionally and physically,  and it can affect the way you behave.

 “My head is tight and all my thoughts are whizzing round in different directions and I can’t catch them.”

 How you might feel

  • irritable, aggressive, impatient or wound up
  • over-burdened
  • anxious, nervous or afraid
  • like your thoughts are racing and you can’t switch off
  • unable to enjoy yourself
  • depressed
  • uninterested in life
  • like you’ve lost your sense of humour
  • a sense of dread
  • worried about your health
  • neglected or

 Some people who experience severe stress can sometimes have suicidal feelings. (See our pages on how to cope with suicidal feelings for more information.)

 How you might behave

  • finding it hard to make decisions
  • constantly worrying
  • avoiding situations that are troubling you
  • snapping at people
  • biting your nails
  • picking at your skin
  • unable to concentrate
  • eating too much or too little
  • smoking or drinking alcohol more than usual
  • restless, like you can’t sit still
  • being tearful or

How you might be physically affected

  • shallow breathing or hyperventilating
  • you might have a panic attack
  • muscle tension
  • blurred eyesight or sore eyes
  • problems getting to sleep, staying asleep or having nightmares
  • sexual problems, such as losing interest in sex or being unable to enjoy sex
  • tired all the time
  • grinding your teeth or clenching your jaw
  • headaches
  • chest pains
  • high blood pressure
  • indigestion or heartburn
  • constipation or diarrhoea
  • feeling sick, dizzy